Friday Rant - You are working for tips, aren't you?

I understand that many people who serve tables (especially in such academic areas as Harvard, Porter, or Kendall Squares) are students working part-time. It's not a career choice, it's just a way to pay their way through the school year.

I know, I've been there. And honestly, I wasn't a very good waitress. I'd forget things (ooh, you mean you wanted silverware?), or I'd spill things (all over someone's head, on one memorable occasion). My heart wasn't in it, because while I enjoy being social and talking to people, it's just not quite as fun when you're trying to fit being personable into 8 tables ordering at different times and wanting refills and going through napkins like there's no tomorrow. And trying to keep the kitchen happy on top of that. Then when the table leaves, you hope and pray for that 15-20%, which you sometimes get, and sometimes you get 10% or less. And I found that I'd start judging people once they sat down - "this'll be a good tipping table" "this'll be a bad tipping table," based on whatever subconscious trends I thought I'd noticed with past tables. And then if I thought they'd not tip well, it'd make it that much harder to provide them good service, because why bother, right?

So as I said, I understand. But honestly, would it kill some servers to smile sometimes? Take last night, for example. I went to a pub-style restaurant in Harvard Sq. We had a sprawling group of maybe 15 people, milling around the (tiny) back area where there are a few tables, but mostly they just store their backup kegs and the entrance to the back store room. A social gathering that's basically a nightmare for a waitress, because you know that not everyone's eating, people aren't going to drink that much, and you're going to be running back and forth. On top of that, not everyone's going to be there at the end to decide on a concrete 20% tip, so it really depends on what people throw in. So I understand her lack of enthusiasm.

But I got there earlier than the group and was chatting with two other people who were there earlier and we ordered beers from her. And she seemed so put upon by the whole thing. Even the process of making change for us to pay for the beers seemed like a cross to bear. No smile, nope nope nope.

My reasoning is this. You may not expect much from a table (or big amoeba-like gathering) in the way of tips. You may be right. But if you frown the whole time, act like you don't want to be there, and in general look entirely put-upon, then you're confirming that expectation. You're creating the very result you feared. That said, honestly, I have no idea how much we left for a tip, so I don't know if her fears were realized (I threw in mine with some tip included and headed out). Put on a smile, hope for the best, do your best, and who knows, you might just get it!

(Oh, and if any of you are the "don't give tips just leave a card saying you disagree with the tip system" types, I'm going to shoot you down right here. Servers make about $2.50 an hour, and those little cards don't change anything, other than the server's ability to pay rent. If you want to change something, then petition your representative to get the minimum wage for servers changed)